I used to think that I had enough friends. In fact, a girlfriend of mine who I met in university still bugs me to this day because when we met, I said to her, “I don’t really need any more friends. I have enough.” Luckily, she’s an exceptional woman, and she pushed through my wall to be a friend of mine. She has made a wonderful difference in my life.
Over time, and especially through the personal and professional development courses I have taken, I looked at what this resistance to having friends was really about. I discovered that I had a deep-seated need to prove that I was okay on my own. I began to see something in my life that I had never seen before. I saw that I wouldn’t let people in and that I would push people away. I had built rigid walls around me that prevented me from being deeply and authentically connected to people in all areas of my life.
I decided that it was high time for a shift, so I challenged my own notion of believing that a few good friends in life are plenty. I pushed myself to imagine the possibility of having hundreds or even thousands of friends. I also had to push the boundaries of my own notions of what a friend is and accept that a relationship with a friend doesn’t have to look a certain way. People don’t have to communicate with me a certain number of times per month, or work in a certain profession, or be a certain age, or help me a certain amount to be considered a friend. Anyone can be a friend for any reason. I’ve found that with far less expectations of what a friend looks like, I’m now very open to connecting with different people in different ways and forming different kinds of friendships. I’ve never had so many incredible relationships and friends in my life to reach out to every day.
Look at what you’re out to accomplish in your personal life, in your family, in your community, and in the world. In what areas of life do you think you need to reach out for support in? What kind of support would be beneficial? How will you reach out for this support?
- Art by ‘Yours Truly, Art‘