Okay, here’s a pep talk. When an emotion comes up:
• feel it/acknowledge it—defying feelings only makes them stronger
• name it—identifying feelings gives you clues for next actions
• move through it—getting into action is key to flowing through the feelings
Can you think of a time recently when you didn’t want to feel the way you did or tried to pretend you weren’t feeling the way you did? Many of us resist our own feelings. It’s important to take the time and energy to really accept, acknowledge, and work through our own feelings. We often think that feelings are just the way they are and that we need to deal with how they show up in our lives until they evaporate. We expect that, to properly deal with our feelings, we need to hire someone (like a therapist) to help us.
It’s common for us to think of our feelings as overwhelming, a nuisance, distracting, or overpowering. Negative feelings, such as anger, resentment, guilt, etc., often lead to yucky sensations in our body. Although we enjoy having positive feelings, such as joy, excitement, etc., it can sometimes seem like even these positive feelings engulf us. Whether negative or positive, feelings can overtake our bodies and minds, hijacking our ability to think clearly and to take rational next steps.
The key is to start taking accountability for your feelings. Feelings are not something that happen to you. Feelings are you. By accepting that feelings come from a deep place within, there is a new space to consider how and why those feelings are emerging and what to do or not do. Rather than being at the effect of our feelings, we can learn from them.
- Art by ‘Yours Truly, Art‘